I was cast in Endgame as Hamm.  Rehearsals have begun.  Things I have learned in these first two rehearsals:

Beckett is very funny.  (I knew that, but I forgot how funny.)

Beckett is depressing.  (And it seems even more depressing because of the contrast with the funny.  And, again, I knew this, but forgot how depressing.)

You can take the actor out of the character, but you can’t take the character out of the actor.  (I love, love, love Beckett.  I think I understand him.  But when I get home from rehearsal and I think I’ve left the depressing thoughts on the stage, I go to sleep and I dream…  When I wake, I’m bitter and depressed.  Hopefully this will be only short term.)

Beckett is a poet.  (The words, the rhythm, the pauses…)

I am not as good of an actor as I would like to be.  (Beckett is a great challenge for any actor.  Of course, we’re only just beginning, and I’m sure I’ll be happier with my performance by opening night, but I don’t know that I will ever feel that I have done justice to the script.)

Beckett is challenging for an audience.  (My students will either be bored out of their minds or be altered irrevocably.)

I love acting.  (But I hate memorizing lines, and these [pause] are [pause] tough.)

I’m very lucky to do what I do and get paid for it.  (And very, very grateful.)