I was cast in Endgame as Hamm. Rehearsals have begun. Things I have learned in these first two rehearsals:
Beckett is very funny. (I knew that, but I forgot how funny.)
Beckett is depressing. (And it seems even more depressing because of the contrast with the funny. And, again, I knew this, but forgot how depressing.)
You can take the actor out of the character, but you can’t take the character out of the actor. (I love, love, love Beckett. I think I understand him. But when I get home from rehearsal and I think I’ve left the depressing thoughts on the stage, I go to sleep and I dream… When I wake, I’m bitter and depressed. Hopefully this will be only short term.)
Beckett is a poet. (The words, the rhythm, the pauses…)
I am not as good of an actor as I would like to be. (Beckett is a great challenge for any actor. Of course, we’re only just beginning, and I’m sure I’ll be happier with my performance by opening night, but I don’t know that I will ever feel that I have done justice to the script.)
Beckett is challenging for an audience. (My students will either be bored out of their minds or be altered irrevocably.)
I love acting. (But I hate memorizing lines, and these [pause] are [pause] tough.)
I’m very lucky to do what I do and get paid for it. (And very, very grateful.)
